


Different

by lostsometime



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb's not really there she's just thinking about him, Character Study, Gen, HUGE SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 18, Introspection, Stream of Consciousness, i can't believe i wrote this i haven't written fanfiction in like 15 years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 15:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14621394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostsometime/pseuds/lostsometime
Summary: Beau can’t stop thinking about him – the kid Caleb must’ve been.





	Different

Beau can’t stop thinking about him – the kid Caleb must’ve been.  She rolls over in her bed at the Pillow Trove and stares at the ceiling, still thinking.  At least her father was old enough to know what he was doing when he decided the Empire was worth more than anything else to him.  More than his work, more than his happiness, more than his family.  More than her.

But Caleb – he’d been just a teenager! Beau tries not to think about how she, too, was a teenager only a scant two years ago.  _It’s different_ , she thinks, _it’s different with me._   But a voice in her head that sounds uncomfortably like Zeenoth asks, _How? How is it different?_   She finds it much harder to dismiss than the actual Zeenoth ever was.

 _Because I know. I knew. I wasn’t some doe-eyed kid,_ Beau thinks.  _I knew what they are, what people with power are like._   Of course, she hadn’t known everything. She certainly hadn’t known they were doing things like _that_ to kids like Caleb.  But, she thinks, she’s known for a long time not to trust anybody that thinks you owe them something just for being born, the way the Empire does with its citizens.  The way they act like they own a piece of you just because you happened to be born within their borders. The way they expect you to pay them back for things they gave you that you never even asked for.

She catches herself wishing she could talk to Dairon about this, and squashes that thought immediately.  She promised she’d keep this secret and besides, it’s not like she needs _permission_ to do things.  She doesn’t need anybody’s advice.  Fuck that. 

Anyway, she thinks, turning over restlessly in her bed, Dairon had said she’d be expected to seek out corruption, to stop people who are misusing their power.  This is probably a bit bigger than she’d thought Beau would find right off the bat, but whatever.   Beau punches her pillow into a more comfortable shape, and then punches it a few more times just because.   _Whatever.  Everybody has to start somewhere._


End file.
